Monday, February 9, 2009

Vegas, Baby! (including OMW Day 13!)

Well, I'm home and only a little the worse for wear!

Vegas was really fun and while it was expensive, I had a limit for how much cash I would spend and ended up under that total, so I feel good about that.

The MOH and I flew out Friday (I worked out in the morning so I could feel virtuous the rest of the weekend). We all stayed at the Luxor, so after a stop at our room for a quick change, we met at a restaurant within the Luxor. It was fun to meet some of my co-dancer's friends that I'd never met before, and to hang out with some of her friends I hadn't seen in awhile. The rest of the night was relatively tame--drinks and hanging out. We knew we were saving ourselves for the following evening.

My co-dancer texted us all (there were 16 of us in her entourage!) at 8 am to see if we wanted brunch, but only 7 of us made it. I'm sorry, when you're eating at 9:30 am, it's not brunch, it's breakfast! We went to Bouchon at the Venetian, which was started by the same chef who started French Laundry. The MOH and I shared our breakfast and I was proud of myself for suggesting it--not only did we save money, but it was the perfect amount of food (waffles, mmmmm). Everyone got ridiculously rich and sinful dishes--chicken and waffles, french toast, and a crazy dish called a Croque Madame, which was basically a ham and cheese sandwich covered in some sort of cream sauce served with a mountain of fries.

After breakfast we braved the rain and took a walk over to Caesar's. I couldn't believe it was raining--isn't Vegas in the desert? Their drainage systems were clearly not robust enough to handle rain; there were huge puddles everywhere. But, whatever, wet feet, we were on vacation! After wandering around Caesar's we went to the Bellagio to look at the fountains and to see the Chihuly ceiling and the gardens in there, which was fun. I stuck to my resolve about not shopping anywhere.

After that we all split up; my co-dancer and I got a snack and everyone else went off to nap before the evening. That night we went to the Wolfgang Puck Bar and Grill at the MGM; all of us dressed in wigs and crazy costumes. My co-dancer had this huge beehive wig and a frilly polka-dot dress; one girl dressed as Dolly Parton; I had a pink bob wig on and crazy pink and black feathered lashes (as well as pink makeup, pink jewelry, and pink fishnets); the MOH (my MOH, not my co-dancer's!) wore a green wig, green lashes, a leather corset, and a black fishnet top and tights; one of the guys had on a huge afro wig, a suit, and a glowing fake fur boa; another of the guys had on a suit and a wig that matched his facial hair exactly, so it looked like it could be his real was thin and greasy looking, and he kept calling himself "Uncle Jack" and telling each of us we were his favorite niece and not to tell the other nieces.

We walked over to MGM from the Luxor, and we caused quite a stir. You would think no one in Vegas would bat an eyelash at anything, but people were blatantly staring, laughing in amazement, pointing, taking pictures, and commenting. It was hilarious. We were like some 16-person wig parade. We made it to dinner, which was delicious, and then we got to hang out a bit there (they'd put us in a semi-private room). One of the girls had brought glow necklaces, bracelets, and earrings, so we all adorned ourselves with glowy things that would ensure we'd get even more attention. At one point these two women in dresses with corsages came in and said they were supposed to be going to a wedding reception but that once they saw us, thought we would be more fun. Well, I'm sure we were! But they eventually left for their reception.

After dinner we headed over to Excalibur to see the Thunder from Down Under, an all-male revue. We had a row of booths in the very back of the theater, which is not too big, so our seats were fine (although we had to sit up on the back of the booth, our feet on the seat cushions, in order to have a better view of the stage). There were quite a few bachelorette parties there, but we were the most...colorful. There was one group with bunny ears on.

Finally the boys came on and it was a ton of fun--everyone in the audience was screaming their heads off. I noticed that the guys were terrible dancers--no one was synced up, the moves were sorta lame, etc., but really, out of everyone in that audience, I think only the women in our party noticed. They also didn't really dole out much in terms of flesh....a shirt here, a jacket there. For a strip show, there was not a lot of stripping, although there was some. They would pull various women up on stage and embarass them. I thought we wouldn't have a chance at this because we were so far back, but then the host came out in the audience and MOH. It was hilarious. He picked out two other women to "compete" with her; he called my MOH "Xena" because of her corset. The three women had to fake an orgasm (remember that scene in When Harry Met Sally?) and then the audience had to cheer for their favorite. Of course we screamed ourselves hoarse for the MOH, but an older lady took it...we told the MOH that the other women got the "old lady vote." The MOH did get a nice parting gift of a poster and some g-string panties, which she gave to our co-dancer (I told her to wear them on her wedding night under her Spanx bodyshaper!).

I tried to take video, but they watch you like a hawk and came over and made me delete the clips off my camera, which was a bummer. After the show we were all going to get a (paid) photo onstage with the beefcakes, but the other women in line were shoving and it wasn't pleasant at all, so we took off. It wasn't worth it!

Afterwards we went to the Thunder gift shop and women were stopping the MOH and saying, "Xena! I totally voted for you, you were my favorite!". It was great. Then we had a bathroom stop where this little older asian woman popped out of a closet and gave us mardi gras beads that matched our wigs. It was so bizarre. I don't know what she was doing there or why she had the beads, but it was really funny and she seemed to like us a lot.

After Excalibur we started walking back to our hotel and got grabbed by some club promoter who thought we all looked awesome and gave us free entrance to her club, Cathouse. It was fun to cut to the front of the line and have the bouncer hold open the curtain for us while folks looked at us enviously. HA! She gave us drink coupons, but only the women (as we walked into the club we had to put the guys in the middle of our group so they wouldn't get left outside!). So, once we collected our free drink we left and went back to a bar at the Mandalay. We got the MOH to ask some guy if his floor-length fur coat was real. She marched over there, already all full of adrenaline and discovered that yes, it was real (made out of coyote. blech.). The MOH said that he was super sleazy in general and he had two women on his arm. One of the women said, "oh, let's take a picture with her, she's so cute!" and as the MOH posed for a picture with the guy, he leaned over to the MOH and confided, "She is SO stupid" (about the picture-taking girl). The MOH also managed to start chatting up some twenty-something guys sitting at the bar after that.

Our group had split up by this time and a smaller party of us went over to Burger Bar (a Hubert Keller restaurant) in Mandalay Bay for late-night snacks, which was yummy. I love their yam fries. Finally we ended up at the bar at our hotel. We got to bed around 5, and it was hard to get up to get ready for checkout. I was dragging! It was nice to come home to my own bed (my back was sore from the crappy one at the Luxor) and my kitties and Mr. T, of course. Phew! So, a really fun weekend, but I'm glad to be back.

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