Thursday, June 5, 2008

Selfishness is the Key to a Happy Relationship

Now, I don't really mean that, of course.

What I mean is: everyone deserves some me time. I'm not talking about time running errands, or hanging out with friends without your S.O. I'm talking about time alone at home. Blissful, lazy, selfish, me time.

Mr. T gets a lot of time alone because I have a crazy schedule. He is marvelously tolerant about this and takes me when he can get me, and I try to be considerate about how long it's been since we've had a date that didn't include all of our friends, and somehow or other it all works out. Frankly, I'd go nuts with boredom if I weren't so busy, and Mr. T knows it. Because he was in a band and understands the passion behind it all, he never complains about time I spend rehearsing, or taking classes, or performing, or attending dance events, or any of the things that take up my time. Really, he's a paragon of patience with all of it, and I'm lucky to have him!

However, thanks to the aforementioned schedule, I don't often get me time. Tonight, however, Mr. T has what I refer to as a "play date" or just a "date" with a friend of ours (Mr. T is also thankfully marvelously tolerant of my sense of humor), so I get to go home after work and do whatever. I think I'll watch my stockpile of dance shows that don't really interest Mr. T but he'll watch with me because he's nice and he loves me, like So You Think You Can Dance, Step It Up and Dance (or whatever that one is called), or even the movie Honey, which I recorded knowing it would be awful but I wanted to see the dance scenes anyway. When we're together we try to watch stuff we're both interested in (I'm not so into the martial arts programs he records), which means I have some shows I haven't seen in weeks.

If I'm super ambitious I might put in a belly dance instructional DVD to do before I settle into the couch for the evening.

It's not that Mr. T or I stop each other from doing's just that we each enjoy our own company too. I think that's healthy. I never wanted to be that girl who stopped speaking to her friends because she was dating someone, or who lost her identity as soon as she became part of a couple. I think we have a good balance. Like all things, it requires maintenance, but we're up for it.

1 comment:

Pica Maloria said...

Bliss. What a wonderful relationship you two have.
I totally get the:
"Frankly, I'd go nuts with boredom if I weren't so busy" I'm the same way.
So even more congrats to you for finding a wonderful partner and to him for finding wonderful you.