Gimme Some Money...*

*This title's a joke, by the way...my geekier readers will recognize it as the title of a Spinal Tap song!

So, anyway, we registered for gifts this weekend. It was exhausting. I had no idea it would be that way. And we're not done.

I mean, I do read bridal blogs, and I knew that going through the store with the scanner often starts out fun and ends up with both people tired and hangry (hungry + angry), but Mr. T and I weren't registering for a ton, and we registered from the comfort of our own desktop computer, so I wasn't expecting to end up tired and hangry. And yet we did!

We started with a Bed Bath & Beyond registry. We don't need much, but we do want to upgrade our flatware, dishes, pots and pans, knives...well, maybe we do need a lot. Anyway, BB&B is nice in that they offer a completion discount in case you don't receive everything from your registry...you can buy the rest yourselves at a discount. And you can use your discount flyer coupons, too (I think). Score! Mr. T really wanted to register for All-Clad cookware, but I thought that 1. the prices were crazy, 2. registering for pans that cost $200 each made us look greedy, and 3. we cook maybe once a week, so we don't need stuff that's quite that high-end. Mr. T argued that if we were upgrading, he only wanted to upgrade once. However, we finally settled on a Cuisinart cookware set that got great reviews and didn't cost $800.

We also added some dishes (they're from the Gordon Ramsay casual line, which cracked us up since we love watching Hell's Kitchen). Mr. T wanted just plain white plates so I let him take the lead there. I like black plates, myself, but I don't care that much.

He let me pick out margarita glasses and some other random items, and he picked out wine glasses, and things were going along until we hit knives. We were reading review after review online (this is what took so long, I think), and BB&B just didn't have the knives that we wanted, so we ended up starting a second registry at Amazon, which we weren't expecting! This does open up electronics as an option, though...and we do need a camera...

Anyway, we registered for 4 hours and we still didn't finish! We have yet to pick towels, sheets, flatware...I didn't realize it would all take so long.

What we really want, and hence the title of the post, is cash for the honeymoon, so I've also started a Honeyfund account. That site is great in that it doesn't charge anyone any fees to use it, but it's weird in that folks sign up to get you whatever it is (part of your dinner, part of your airfare, part of your hotel, etc.), and then they print out a gift certificate and hand you a check at the wedding. That seems a little odd, but we're so opposed to the fees that we think it's still the best option.

Anyway, to fill out the Honeyfund registry, I need to do more research on places to stay and eat in Vancouver. We're not going until next year, but I want to put in some more personal details about what we might really do rather than generic "dinner for two" or "hotel", to make it more interesting.

Registering in general makes one feel greedy, I discovered. All the sites tell you to over- rather than under-register, but it's making me uncomfortable, and as I said, we're not even done.

I really wanted to check this one off my list, but alas, it looks like it needs a bit more time! Ah, well. We got a good start.

More List Woes

This weekend I made an actual personalized to-do list for me and Mr. T. I know, it's long overdue, but we were getting by using the lists in our various wedding books. However, it became obvious that not only are we unusual in terms of the normal wedding in terms of what we're NOT doing, we're also unusual in that some of the things we ARE doing were nowhere on these lists. And I started to get worried that if I didn't get all that stuff out of my head and into a list, I'd forget something at some point.

So, I sat down and spent a good hour or two creating a list that had well over 100 things on it--more like 140! Mr. T and I promptly started bickering as he tried to eliminate things ("Do we need favors?") and I tried to keep them on there. Sigh. There's definitely a not-so-pretty side to wedding planning, and its name is stress. I admitted to Mr. T that my stomach has been hurting every night for the last week, and I think it's wedding-related. He told me he'd been feeling the same way. As it is, since we only have 4 months (OMG FOUR MONTHS) until the wedding, so our list would seem to have us doing more than two things per day, which realistically is never going to happen. But we're keeping everything on it for now.

The list did motivate us to check off a few tasks; I booked our photographer's flight, and Mr. T started legwork on the alcohol quantities and the mini-moon. I told him I don't want to know anything about the mini-moon; I just want it to be luxurious and I want at least one massage. Despite my protests, he's told me that he's considering Big Sur, but I stopped him before he could get any further with the information disclosure. Really, after planning this wedding, I have zero desire to plan anything after the wedding! I just want to show up and be pampered!

The other super-fun task we did was sit down with the budget to find out what the heck was going on--my reconciliations showed a difference between our spreadsheet and what the bank statement was actually telling us. Sadly, the bank was right (as I figured they would be!); I'd misplaced a decimal point in one entry and entered two entries twice! This is why I work in publishing, not accounting...anyway, we're not done saving money, as we'd hoped, but we're pretty close.

We are still looking for rehearsal dinner venues, and are leaning toward Chinese or Vietnamese, because they're local and have banquet rooms. And, we eat a lot of both, so they reflect our style and aren't random choices.

Next weekend I made it our goal to register and also to go suit shopping, part two. It's a three-day weekend, so hopefully we can get both done! The clock is ticking...

145 Days to Go and OMG, We Have So Much To Do

I finally joined The Knot because they had some articles on Halloween weddings I wanted to read. The articles weren't really worth it, it turns out.

I had to put in our wedding date as part of my registration and I got an automatically generated checklist. These are the things we haven't done, and many of them are overdue according to The Knot:

• Make sure to insure your engagement ring. [We do need to do this. We also need renter's insurance. Sigh.]
• Decide on and meet with your officiant to discuss ceremony structure. [We've emailed some stuff, but no real discussions yet.]
• Brides: Start shopping for bridesmaid dresses. [Actually, the MOH and I are going to visit the other bridesmaid in LA this weekend for girl fun and dress shopping! I can't wait, it's going to be such a fun little trip.]
• Register for your wedding gifts, and don't forget to include some choices appropriate for your upcoming bridal shower as well. [GAH. No progress. We decided to register at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but aside from agreeing that we need new knives, we don't know what to register for.]
• Brides: Decide on the bridesmaid dresses. [See above...maybe we'll get that done this weekend, or maybe the girls will just be left to their own devices. My only stipulation is that the dresses be black, and not too short!]
• Book a baker [done], choose your wedding [cup]cake[s] design[s] [to be done], and send a deposit [done].
• Start planning the rehearsal dinner. [No luck on this front. I've researched a few places, but we've only tried one, with disappointing results. We need to get back on this. I would love a more informal dinner, like Mexican food with margaritas, but there's not much near our wedding venue/hotel. Sigh.]
• Start working on your invitation wording and design. [I am happy to report we started doing this last weekend, even though Mr. T had a cold. That's info for a separate post, though.]
• Finalize your invitation wording. [TBD]
• Finalize menu and service details with caterer. [We still need to pick a vegetarian main dish and a passed appetizer. We're not doing that until October, though, so The Knot will need to scream at us until then.]
• Order your invitations and announcements (don't forget plenty of extra envelopes). [Again, TBD. Invites will take 2-4 weeks to print after a proof is approved, so we're thinking we'll send them to the printer mid-July or so. I'm torn on the envelopes...it's tempting to just have the printer do the return addresses for us, but another part of me would love to do either black envelopes with orange lining or vice-versa. And that means ordering envelopes and doing custom liners. Hm.]
• Start thinking about flower arrangement styles you like, and figure out what flowers will be in season on your wedding day. [Well, I guess I have thought about it. But I'm not entirely sure about the seasonal thing.]
• Decide on a floral scheme, choose flowers. [Not really done. Except I'd like Fall colors, and primarily reds, burgundies, and a bit of orange.]
• Reserve tables, chairs, and/or other rental equipment you'll need (unless caterer or site is taking care of it). [Mostly this is done, but we have some stereo equipment stuff to sort out.]
• Grooms: Start looking to buy or rent tux, suit, or other formal attire. [We did start...we just didn't see much! And other plans have prevented us from going shopping again. Can you hear me hyperventilating yet? This list is a mile long!]
• Book rehearsal-dinner site. [Um, no. See above.]
• Book hotel room for your wedding night. [We haven't done this yet. I think Mr. T would like us to stay at a high-end hotel near our wedding venue, whereas I would just like it to be easy, so I want us to stay at the venue (although The Claremont is sounding mighty tempting). So we're still discussing.]
• Compile packages for out-of-town guests with hotel reservation (done) and city information, and mail them out. [Our "wedsite" gives hotel info, but no city info. I'm undecided about mailing out packets, but I suppose I could put something together...in all my free time.]
• Grooms: Decide on your groomsmen's attire. [I doubt if Mr. T has put much thought into this. He only has one groomsman, so it's a little easier. I think he'd like his brother to wear a suit, but who knows what color suit, or what color shirt, or tie!]
• Book your honeymoon flights (if not using frequent flyer miles) and make all your other travel reservations. [I'm putting this one in Mr. T's lap...the mini-moon, that is. When we take a real honeymoon trip I'll be recovered enough to help plan it. For the mini-moon I'd like relaxation, good food, and a massage or two. And some nice scenery.]
• Brides: Choose your bridesmaids' accessories (shoes, gloves, etc.) and either purchase or pass along purchasing information. [Well, my girls can pick their own shoes, and they don't need gloves!]
• Grooms: Give all of the groomsmen the information they need to buy and/or reserve their attire. [Nothing done here; see above.]
• Pick out or design a ketubah or other marriage contract required by your religion. [We don't have to worry about this one. Check!]

Note that this checklist is not everything we have to do...it's just everything we should be doing during this timeframe...next month, there will be even more items looming over us! It's feeling a little insurmountable at the moment. One thing at a time, right?

Wedding update

I know some of you are thinking: Wow, these book reviews are really nice, and of course stunningly well-written, but WTF are you doing about the wedding that is ostensibly the reason for this blog? So, an update:

1. Mr. T's cousin's wedding is coming up in a couple of weeks. I'll be making notes of ideas to steal. I notice they are using Honeyfund, so it's mutual! ;-)

2. On November 1, we plan on hitting all the stores for decor and favors--50% or more discounts, yay! (Does candy last that long? Hm...)

3. I'm also planning on buying pumpkins this year and experimenting with some of the designs found in this post.

4. I've contacted our potential venue and asked to schedule a tasting. Last night Mr. T and I were debating the merits of pork versus beef. I think he's going with pork (that one's his decision...I'm going for fish. And don't worry, vegetarians, we've got you covered too).

5. Most importantly, we've started thinking about what we want to do for our 11th anniversary this year. The MOH is having her annual Halloween party on the date itself, so it looks like we'll be celebrating on 11/1 (appropriate for an 11th anniversary!).

More updates to come--on 11/1, I think things will really pick up!

Have Trunk, Will Travel

As I mentioned, red is a very auspicious color for brides to wear in India. I am also considering having my hands henna'd for the big day--I love henna, and perhaps having it applied will force me to sit still when I'm probably going to need it the most (henna takes a long time to apply, and an even longer time to set into the skin).

However, as much as I love Indian culture, I have to admit that Mr. T would never agree to ride an elephant to our wedding ceremony, like a traditional Indian groom. He thinks elephants are dangerous, but I just love them.

But if any of you out there want to hire an elephant for your wedding, do visit Have Trunk Will Travel. They seem like they're genuinely concerned for the welfare of the animals--all the income goes toward their care.

Perhaps I will be able to persuade Mr. T to take me to the Elephant Sanctuary in Thailand one of these days (honeymoon?)--Elevate Destinations offers a stop at the sanctuary as part of their Southeast Asia trip. As a bonus, every Elevate Destinations trip benefits environmental preservation and community development.

For the Honeymoon

I came across an awesome site that will organize a "to pack" list for you. You plug in your travel dates, temperatures at your destination, activities you'll be doing, etc., and it generates a list that can be emailed to your or others.

This is a site created by a kindred spirit, I think! I always make "to pack" lists...if I don't, I forget something and get cranky about forgetting it. I love lists.

Now, if I could only get them to customize the site to add belly dance as one of the activities. My lists include:

zills (finger cymbals)
coin belt
knee pads
safety pins
fake eyelashes
bindis

etc., etc. Sometimes my "to pack" lists, if they are for a belly dance trip/vacation, look pretty funny. Flip flops? check. Bikini? check. Sword? check. Spirit gum? check.

Honeyfund

Mr. T and I will likely not have the fundage to take a honeymoon, so I've been looking into registering for our honeymoon. I found an article explaining how those are a big ripoff, with setup fees, transaction fees, etc., so I got a bit discouraged, but then I found a free honeymoon registry and got re-encouraged. Honeyfund was created by a couple who ran into the same issue when they wanted to register for their honeymoon, so they made their own honeymoon registry website.
I think Paypal still charges some fees, but at least they're upfront about it. And people could give us checks, too.