145 Days to Go and OMG, We Have So Much To Do

I finally joined The Knot because they had some articles on Halloween weddings I wanted to read. The articles weren't really worth it, it turns out.

I had to put in our wedding date as part of my registration and I got an automatically generated checklist. These are the things we haven't done, and many of them are overdue according to The Knot:

• Make sure to insure your engagement ring. [We do need to do this. We also need renter's insurance. Sigh.]
• Decide on and meet with your officiant to discuss ceremony structure. [We've emailed some stuff, but no real discussions yet.]
• Brides: Start shopping for bridesmaid dresses. [Actually, the MOH and I are going to visit the other bridesmaid in LA this weekend for girl fun and dress shopping! I can't wait, it's going to be such a fun little trip.]
• Register for your wedding gifts, and don't forget to include some choices appropriate for your upcoming bridal shower as well. [GAH. No progress. We decided to register at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but aside from agreeing that we need new knives, we don't know what to register for.]
• Brides: Decide on the bridesmaid dresses. [See above...maybe we'll get that done this weekend, or maybe the girls will just be left to their own devices. My only stipulation is that the dresses be black, and not too short!]
• Book a baker [done], choose your wedding [cup]cake[s] design[s] [to be done], and send a deposit [done].
• Start planning the rehearsal dinner. [No luck on this front. I've researched a few places, but we've only tried one, with disappointing results. We need to get back on this. I would love a more informal dinner, like Mexican food with margaritas, but there's not much near our wedding venue/hotel. Sigh.]
• Start working on your invitation wording and design. [I am happy to report we started doing this last weekend, even though Mr. T had a cold. That's info for a separate post, though.]
• Finalize your invitation wording. [TBD]
• Finalize menu and service details with caterer. [We still need to pick a vegetarian main dish and a passed appetizer. We're not doing that until October, though, so The Knot will need to scream at us until then.]
• Order your invitations and announcements (don't forget plenty of extra envelopes). [Again, TBD. Invites will take 2-4 weeks to print after a proof is approved, so we're thinking we'll send them to the printer mid-July or so. I'm torn on the envelopes...it's tempting to just have the printer do the return addresses for us, but another part of me would love to do either black envelopes with orange lining or vice-versa. And that means ordering envelopes and doing custom liners. Hm.]
• Start thinking about flower arrangement styles you like, and figure out what flowers will be in season on your wedding day. [Well, I guess I have thought about it. But I'm not entirely sure about the seasonal thing.]
• Decide on a floral scheme, choose flowers. [Not really done. Except I'd like Fall colors, and primarily reds, burgundies, and a bit of orange.]
• Reserve tables, chairs, and/or other rental equipment you'll need (unless caterer or site is taking care of it). [Mostly this is done, but we have some stereo equipment stuff to sort out.]
• Grooms: Start looking to buy or rent tux, suit, or other formal attire. [We did start...we just didn't see much! And other plans have prevented us from going shopping again. Can you hear me hyperventilating yet? This list is a mile long!]
• Book rehearsal-dinner site. [Um, no. See above.]
• Book hotel room for your wedding night. [We haven't done this yet. I think Mr. T would like us to stay at a high-end hotel near our wedding venue, whereas I would just like it to be easy, so I want us to stay at the venue (although The Claremont is sounding mighty tempting). So we're still discussing.]
• Compile packages for out-of-town guests with hotel reservation (done) and city information, and mail them out. [Our "wedsite" gives hotel info, but no city info. I'm undecided about mailing out packets, but I suppose I could put something together...in all my free time.]
• Grooms: Decide on your groomsmen's attire. [I doubt if Mr. T has put much thought into this. He only has one groomsman, so it's a little easier. I think he'd like his brother to wear a suit, but who knows what color suit, or what color shirt, or tie!]
• Book your honeymoon flights (if not using frequent flyer miles) and make all your other travel reservations. [I'm putting this one in Mr. T's lap...the mini-moon, that is. When we take a real honeymoon trip I'll be recovered enough to help plan it. For the mini-moon I'd like relaxation, good food, and a massage or two. And some nice scenery.]
• Brides: Choose your bridesmaids' accessories (shoes, gloves, etc.) and either purchase or pass along purchasing information. [Well, my girls can pick their own shoes, and they don't need gloves!]
• Grooms: Give all of the groomsmen the information they need to buy and/or reserve their attire. [Nothing done here; see above.]
• Pick out or design a ketubah or other marriage contract required by your religion. [We don't have to worry about this one. Check!]

Note that this checklist is not everything we have to do...it's just everything we should be doing during this timeframe...next month, there will be even more items looming over us! It's feeling a little insurmountable at the moment. One thing at a time, right?

Officiant: Check

Mr. T and I have been mulling over who should be our officiant for a few months now. I mean, we've vaguely been thinking about it since we got engaged, but we really seriously began to talk about it in the last couple of months. We knew that, being the heathens we are, we were never going to get married in a church or by a religious official, so it became clear we should draft one of our friends into doing the job (thanks to the wonderful Universal Life Church...hey, I guess we are going to be married by a religious official...the ULC is a church, after all!).

We came up with some basic guidelines for our officiant candidates:

1. Knows and is close to both of us. This seemed important not only because this is a very important day for us, but also so the officiant would feel comfortable talking about us as a couple in front of our assembled friends and family. And, as one of my friends put it, it's nice if the officiant is invested in your success and growth as a couple.
2. Is comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. We didn't want to put someone on the spot...I know what it is to hate public speaking, and it's hard to say no to a friend, so we could potentially have caused someone a lot of anguish if we picked a wallflower.

We eliminated the MOH, although she was who I originally thought would officiate. Mr. T really thought she should be the MOH, though, and after I thought about it some more, I agreed. After that we discussed other friends...Mr. T was wavering between who would stand up with him as a groomsman, thereby possibly eliminating some candidates, but we finally settled on one of our close friends and popped the question to him at brunch on Sunday.

After the waiter took our order I launched into my unprepared speech, starting with, "We wanted to talk to you about something." He immediately said, "Oh my god, this is an Ulterior Brunch!" and we laughed and had to agree. Then I talked about how we loved him, etc. and ended with asking him if he'd be our officiant. He looked shocked but also very happy, so I knew we'd chosen well. He got super excited about it.

It feels good to have our close friends participating in our wedding (our officiant's partner is going to be our day-of coordinator), and it also feels good to check something off the list. It seems funny to think that we only have 11 months to go, now! OMG, we need to get some stuff done!