So, the MOH and I went to my semi-final dress fitting on Saturday. The dress looks amazing! All they need to do now is line the skirt, and finish all the edges, and a few other finishing touches. I am in love with it.
Mr. T and I have been practicing our first dance, and it's become obvious that there is no way I can dance in my skirt. As soon as I step backward, I'm going to step on the train and it will all be over. Or Mr. T is going to step on my train and it will all be over. Oops. That's what I get for going for drama!
Now I'm pondering either buying a cute skirt to change into right before the first dance, or having my dressmaker whip up a shorter skirt in the same material, if such a thing is even possible or remotely attainable on my budget/within our timeframe. Hm.
Showing posts with label dance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dance. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
The August Wedding Observer
Hello all, this is Bilunabirotunda. Our lovely Beth has asked me to share the two weekends (back to back!) I spent at weddings.
Executive summary: I am now jaded on normal weddings. Despite being a classicist at heart, I hope Beth and Mr. T will go all out in being themselves, having fun, and helping us have fun!
These two August weddings were nice, but kind of dull. Very similar format: Ceremony at one location, then traipse over to another location, wait around for food and/or bridal party to show up, make conversation with strangers, eat, wait, wait, wait, dance. Cake. Home.
Ceremony 1 was at Preservation Park in Oakland - non-denominational. Ceremony 2 was at Founder's Chapel at the University of San Diego, and was a full Catholic nuptial mass! My first for that.
I don't have any pics of bride 1's dress, but it was the usual white strapless affair, corset lacing - however, with a dark purple insert in the back from top to bottom, long train, and silver embroidery edging around bodice and insert. The bridesmaids wore dark purple and the groomsmen wore red. Bride 2's dress was also white and strapless, but straight, and with a layered skirt. She had a silver belt and her bridesmaids wore purple too. (She told me later, though, that her dress had been accidentally bustled the whole time!) Groomsmen had gray suits and lavender shirts, purple ties. Is this the in color scheme? I liked both dresses - not a big strapless fan, but both brides are thin and have nice figures so it worked for them. Similar veils. Both weddings also had flower girls who just walked up the aisle and ring bearers with the traditional sulky look.
Reception 1 was at the California Ballroom in downtown Oakland, and reception 2 was at the Catamaran Hotel in San Diego. It was at this point that I really appreciated the organizational skills of team 2 - at reception 1, no one, including my friend the groomsman, knew what was going on, where people should be, or when food/bridal party would show up. At reception 2 it was clearly stated in the lobby that we'd have cocktails on the beach for a certain time, then dinner in the ballroom. Cocktails on the beach was undeniably lovely - so we passed the time not unwell. I think the alcohol was free all around, but I liked the champagne/chambord cocktail the waiters brought round, so never checked it out. Also, as part of the package, exotic bird handlers walked around showing off parrots.
And there were baby hula dancers off to the side (not part of the wedding).
Reception 2 scored for flowers, dinner service, and room to sit, but the actual food was better at reception 1 - three or four buffet stations with different things, though you had to stand in line, and there was some disgruntlement. At reception 2, everyone got chicken except my vegetarian husband, who scored pesto pasta. As on an airline flight, the vegetarians do better in the mass meal production line.
The usual toasts, etc, and formulaic dances. Couple 1 do Dickens Fair a lot, so I liked the guy who said, "and may nothing Dickens wrote about ever happen to you!" Couple 1 scored for dancing - they and most of their friends are rabid Victorian ballroom dancers. Couple 1 also had a live band the whole time. And one of their friends had commissioned an original waltz especially for their wedding, which the band played! The dancing was beautiful to watch if intimidating to join. (The Vegetarian Husband does not like dancing and I was in a bad mood caused by a delayed dinner.) Couple 2 just had a DJ, and run of the mill wedding music. Fun for the young people if dull for the older ones. Wedding 2 also had higher heels because it was farther south in CA.
I liked both cakes. Cake 1 had cool molded chocolate leaves with real red currants as accents, and cake 2 was decorated only with real orchids. Classy.
Both weddings had sweet moments and periods of boredom. I guess it's hard for a wedding to be all things to all people. ;-) Couple 2 were so tremendously happy! I liked that. But my favorite moment was at reception 1: the four young flower girls were dancing by themselves, and the flautist played Pop Goes the Weasel for them to dance to. Kind of summed it all up. Get married and have a party. The rest is just showing off, and though I hope Beth will top the lists, as long as they're happy and I don't have to sit around waiting too long, this wedding guest will be just fine.
Executive summary: I am now jaded on normal weddings. Despite being a classicist at heart, I hope Beth and Mr. T will go all out in being themselves, having fun, and helping us have fun!
These two August weddings were nice, but kind of dull. Very similar format: Ceremony at one location, then traipse over to another location, wait around for food and/or bridal party to show up, make conversation with strangers, eat, wait, wait, wait, dance. Cake. Home.
Ceremony 1 was at Preservation Park in Oakland - non-denominational. Ceremony 2 was at Founder's Chapel at the University of San Diego, and was a full Catholic nuptial mass! My first for that.
I don't have any pics of bride 1's dress, but it was the usual white strapless affair, corset lacing - however, with a dark purple insert in the back from top to bottom, long train, and silver embroidery edging around bodice and insert. The bridesmaids wore dark purple and the groomsmen wore red. Bride 2's dress was also white and strapless, but straight, and with a layered skirt. She had a silver belt and her bridesmaids wore purple too. (She told me later, though, that her dress had been accidentally bustled the whole time!) Groomsmen had gray suits and lavender shirts, purple ties. Is this the in color scheme? I liked both dresses - not a big strapless fan, but both brides are thin and have nice figures so it worked for them. Similar veils. Both weddings also had flower girls who just walked up the aisle and ring bearers with the traditional sulky look.
Reception 1 was at the California Ballroom in downtown Oakland, and reception 2 was at the Catamaran Hotel in San Diego. It was at this point that I really appreciated the organizational skills of team 2 - at reception 1, no one, including my friend the groomsman, knew what was going on, where people should be, or when food/bridal party would show up. At reception 2 it was clearly stated in the lobby that we'd have cocktails on the beach for a certain time, then dinner in the ballroom. Cocktails on the beach was undeniably lovely - so we passed the time not unwell. I think the alcohol was free all around, but I liked the champagne/chambord cocktail the waiters brought round, so never checked it out. Also, as part of the package, exotic bird handlers walked around showing off parrots.
And there were baby hula dancers off to the side (not part of the wedding).
Reception 2 scored for flowers, dinner service, and room to sit, but the actual food was better at reception 1 - three or four buffet stations with different things, though you had to stand in line, and there was some disgruntlement. At reception 2, everyone got chicken except my vegetarian husband, who scored pesto pasta. As on an airline flight, the vegetarians do better in the mass meal production line.
The usual toasts, etc, and formulaic dances. Couple 1 do Dickens Fair a lot, so I liked the guy who said, "and may nothing Dickens wrote about ever happen to you!" Couple 1 scored for dancing - they and most of their friends are rabid Victorian ballroom dancers. Couple 1 also had a live band the whole time. And one of their friends had commissioned an original waltz especially for their wedding, which the band played! The dancing was beautiful to watch if intimidating to join. (The Vegetarian Husband does not like dancing and I was in a bad mood caused by a delayed dinner.) Couple 2 just had a DJ, and run of the mill wedding music. Fun for the young people if dull for the older ones. Wedding 2 also had higher heels because it was farther south in CA.
I liked both cakes. Cake 1 had cool molded chocolate leaves with real red currants as accents, and cake 2 was decorated only with real orchids. Classy.
Both weddings had sweet moments and periods of boredom. I guess it's hard for a wedding to be all things to all people. ;-) Couple 2 were so tremendously happy! I liked that. But my favorite moment was at reception 1: the four young flower girls were dancing by themselves, and the flautist played Pop Goes the Weasel for them to dance to. Kind of summed it all up. Get married and have a party. The rest is just showing off, and though I hope Beth will top the lists, as long as they're happy and I don't have to sit around waiting too long, this wedding guest will be just fine.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Second Bachelorette Party of 2009
Saturday I attended my second bachelorette party of the year! It was a little quieter than the first one, but no less fun. We went out for Mediterranean tapas and then out to a club for 80's night. The food was super yummy (I blame it for my half-pound weight gain) and I loved going dancing...I haven't been dancing for ages. It felt like coming home! We adorned the bride-to-be (Mr. T's cousin's fiancee) in a blinking tiara complete with veil, a blinking huge fake diamond ring, body crystal stickers (hers said "sexy") and a bride to be sash. We all got huge fake non-blinking rings and crystal stickers that were hearts, or said love, etc. Also, we all had 80's gloves (mesh or lace) and glow bracelets and necklaces. It was awesome! Halfway through the night the bride-to-be turned to my MOH and asked her to get this pink boa from a guy who was wearing it...and so the MOH did! She traded him for a glow necklace. We ended up trading back later, but it was funny and sweet. It was also funny that the bride-to-be knew that the MOH would be up for it. I told her that her reputation must have preceded her. Anyway, super fun. I definitely want to go out dancing for my bachelorette party.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Rock the Reception
TLC is not quite as good at making addictive reality shows as Bravo, but they are pretty close. I furtively watched the last season of Say Yes to The Dress, and now they're back with another wedding related show: Rock the Reception.
This time, they're capitalizing on two of my interests: weddings and dancing! Couples who want to choreograph an unusual first dance apply to be on the show, and professional choreographers Tabitha and Napoleon work with them on their chosen song. It culminates in video footage of the piece at the wedding, where they surprise all their guests with a choreographed "first dance"! On the episode I saw, some of the bridesmaids/groomsmen also joined in.
Tabitha and Napoleon were featured on this season of So You Think You Can Dance (another fave), and so it's nice to see them again, although the level of dance is somewhat...diminished. They do a good job of working with the folks they've got, but jeez, some people can't even clap on beat. I'm serious. I don't know why I'm shocked about that, but I am.
Anyway, Mr. T is of the opinion that this show won't last ("No one wants to see regular people dance," he opined), so I don't know if we can apply to be on the show; instead, I'm trying to sweet-talk one of our friends into applying so we can meet Tabitha and Napoleon. That would be awesome.
Research
Mr. T and I attended his business partner's wedding this Saturday. Not only was it fun, but we got to make mental notes for our own wedding! They got married in lovely Half Moon Bay, which is about 45 minutes away (more with traffic, as we discovered on Saturday), a lovely coastal town. Many of the guests spent the night in the B&B where the wedding was held, but because we are frugal and also procrastinators, we opted to drive down and back both nights.
Friday night the couple had a meet and greet in a pub. I liked the casual atmosphere. We are planning on doing something similarly relaxed for our "rehearsal dinner"--probably a pizza party with pumpkin carving. I liked the idea of opening up the rehearsal dinner to more of the wedding guests. Depending on the venue, we may think about doing that...plus, it means fewer pumpkins that I have to carve myself! ;-)
Saturday we drove down in the afternoon. I was late getting ready, as usual, and Mr. T was going to get dressed at the B&B after we got there, so I'm afraid I stressed him out. I have to remember to leave myself extra time on our wedding day. Mr. T got dressed in one of his coworker's rooms and we got ourselves out to the B&B garden and found seats in time for the ceremony. It was a little chilly outside, but not too bad, and the garden was beautiful. The bride and groom walked in together to Iron & Wine. I like the idea of walking together, but I think my dad probably wants to "give me away". It's something to think about, though.
I was pretty restrained and didn't cry too much, but as usual, I did have a coughing fit in the middle of the ceremony. I always pack cough drops for this reason. I have a contrary throat. I liked that the bride and groom wrote a poem for their friends and family. I don't know if Mr. T and I are up to poetry. Perhaps he can do some drumming and I'll do an interpretive dance to tell folks how happy we are that they're at the wedding. On second thought...no.
One thing I noticed was that although I could hear their officiant fine (he had a mic), I couldn't hear any of the bride or groom's vows, because the mic was not handed over to them. That was a bummer. Note to self: Need mic for all speakers at the ceremony.
After the ceremony we mingled and had appetizers and drinks. They weren't serving hard alcohol, but luckily the B&B had a bar, so I went and bought myself a drink...or rather, one of Mr. T's business partners bought me a drink! I would really like to make sure there's hard alcohol at our wedding, if for me alone. Some folks just don't like beer or wine. So, even if we have to go cash bar for the liquor, we've gotta do it.
The mingling was fun but perhaps a touch too long. I was pretty hungry by the time dinner came (most of the appetizers had dairy in them, so being a lactard, I didn't eat much). Note to self: provide some nondairy appetizers. Not that I expected that at someone else's wedding, but at mine, I'm gonna eat something! ;-) The other thing that happened during this time is that folks started claiming tables (there was no seating chart). I didn't notice until almost too late; luckily, we were able to score a table together with Mr. T's work crew. Dennise, you told me that a seating chart was the way to go, but I didn't quite believe you. Now, I think you may have been right all along!
The bride designed, wrote, and illustrated a cookbook for the wedding favors. I forget where she got them printed, but it was relatively inexpensive. The groom wrote an album for the bride, so that CD was the other half of the wedding favor. I really loved the favors. The cookbook in particular is so handy! And it's funny and contains blurbs about what and how they cook together. Very fun idea.
Dinner was buffet style, which is what we're planning on doing. The line did get long for a minute, but it wasn't too bad. The food was great and had different options for meats, but only one vegetarian option, and no vegan options. At our wedding, even though I don't think any of our guests will be vegan, I'm definitely going vegan for one dish. We do know more than one lactard, so I think it's important for us.
During dinner there were a couple of toasts (avec champagne), which we couldn't really hear. I think that was because we were outside...the sound just floated away. We won't have that particular issue. The same for the music after dinner--it never really got loud enough for dancing. I don't think that was their focus, though. Before the wedding I had asked the bride if there would be dancing, and she shrugged and said "Maybe!"
The bride and groom did do their own sweet first dance, and even though we couldn't hear what they were dancing to, we all cheered.
After dinner it started to get really chilly, so we were happy to go inside for cake--carrot cake! It's funny, Mr. T and I were just discussing carrot cake, b/c he loves it, but didn't think it would be a popular enough flavor, so we opted not to serve it at the engagement party. Based on how quickly that thing disappeared, I don't think he needed to worry! I think we'll probably over-order on the cupcakes to make sure everyone gets one or two...dessert is really the best part, after all.
The bride and groom were happy and also very dazed. Now that all the planning was over, they didn't know what to do with themselves. The groom told me, "I feel like there's something I should be doing, but I guess I'm done!" I thought that was interesting and that probably happens all the time at weddings. I hope that we are able to enjoy the moment without worrying about what's left to do, or what didn't go right. I in particular am a worrier. I hope I can be in the moment!
The merriment went pretty late--the ceremony started at 2 and there were still folks there at 10, when we left--but I think that was in part because folks were staying at the Bed and Breakfast. It was nice, though; folks changed into comfy clothes and settled into the bar. I hope we have a good crew who stays with us till the end! Who am I kidding, I know we will!
All in all, a very satisfying kickoff to the wedding season.
Friday night the couple had a meet and greet in a pub. I liked the casual atmosphere. We are planning on doing something similarly relaxed for our "rehearsal dinner"--probably a pizza party with pumpkin carving. I liked the idea of opening up the rehearsal dinner to more of the wedding guests. Depending on the venue, we may think about doing that...plus, it means fewer pumpkins that I have to carve myself! ;-)
Saturday we drove down in the afternoon. I was late getting ready, as usual, and Mr. T was going to get dressed at the B&B after we got there, so I'm afraid I stressed him out. I have to remember to leave myself extra time on our wedding day. Mr. T got dressed in one of his coworker's rooms and we got ourselves out to the B&B garden and found seats in time for the ceremony. It was a little chilly outside, but not too bad, and the garden was beautiful. The bride and groom walked in together to Iron & Wine. I like the idea of walking together, but I think my dad probably wants to "give me away". It's something to think about, though.
I was pretty restrained and didn't cry too much, but as usual, I did have a coughing fit in the middle of the ceremony. I always pack cough drops for this reason. I have a contrary throat. I liked that the bride and groom wrote a poem for their friends and family. I don't know if Mr. T and I are up to poetry. Perhaps he can do some drumming and I'll do an interpretive dance to tell folks how happy we are that they're at the wedding. On second thought...no.
One thing I noticed was that although I could hear their officiant fine (he had a mic), I couldn't hear any of the bride or groom's vows, because the mic was not handed over to them. That was a bummer. Note to self: Need mic for all speakers at the ceremony.
After the ceremony we mingled and had appetizers and drinks. They weren't serving hard alcohol, but luckily the B&B had a bar, so I went and bought myself a drink...or rather, one of Mr. T's business partners bought me a drink! I would really like to make sure there's hard alcohol at our wedding, if for me alone. Some folks just don't like beer or wine. So, even if we have to go cash bar for the liquor, we've gotta do it.
The mingling was fun but perhaps a touch too long. I was pretty hungry by the time dinner came (most of the appetizers had dairy in them, so being a lactard, I didn't eat much). Note to self: provide some nondairy appetizers. Not that I expected that at someone else's wedding, but at mine, I'm gonna eat something! ;-) The other thing that happened during this time is that folks started claiming tables (there was no seating chart). I didn't notice until almost too late; luckily, we were able to score a table together with Mr. T's work crew. Dennise, you told me that a seating chart was the way to go, but I didn't quite believe you. Now, I think you may have been right all along!
The bride designed, wrote, and illustrated a cookbook for the wedding favors. I forget where she got them printed, but it was relatively inexpensive. The groom wrote an album for the bride, so that CD was the other half of the wedding favor. I really loved the favors. The cookbook in particular is so handy! And it's funny and contains blurbs about what and how they cook together. Very fun idea.
Dinner was buffet style, which is what we're planning on doing. The line did get long for a minute, but it wasn't too bad. The food was great and had different options for meats, but only one vegetarian option, and no vegan options. At our wedding, even though I don't think any of our guests will be vegan, I'm definitely going vegan for one dish. We do know more than one lactard, so I think it's important for us.
During dinner there were a couple of toasts (avec champagne), which we couldn't really hear. I think that was because we were outside...the sound just floated away. We won't have that particular issue. The same for the music after dinner--it never really got loud enough for dancing. I don't think that was their focus, though. Before the wedding I had asked the bride if there would be dancing, and she shrugged and said "Maybe!"
The bride and groom did do their own sweet first dance, and even though we couldn't hear what they were dancing to, we all cheered.
After dinner it started to get really chilly, so we were happy to go inside for cake--carrot cake! It's funny, Mr. T and I were just discussing carrot cake, b/c he loves it, but didn't think it would be a popular enough flavor, so we opted not to serve it at the engagement party. Based on how quickly that thing disappeared, I don't think he needed to worry! I think we'll probably over-order on the cupcakes to make sure everyone gets one or two...dessert is really the best part, after all.
The bride and groom were happy and also very dazed. Now that all the planning was over, they didn't know what to do with themselves. The groom told me, "I feel like there's something I should be doing, but I guess I'm done!" I thought that was interesting and that probably happens all the time at weddings. I hope that we are able to enjoy the moment without worrying about what's left to do, or what didn't go right. I in particular am a worrier. I hope I can be in the moment!
The merriment went pretty late--the ceremony started at 2 and there were still folks there at 10, when we left--but I think that was in part because folks were staying at the Bed and Breakfast. It was nice, though; folks changed into comfy clothes and settled into the bar. I hope we have a good crew who stays with us till the end! Who am I kidding, I know we will!
All in all, a very satisfying kickoff to the wedding season.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Monday Random Links
I'm still recuperating from the weekend. I need another day off!!
In the meantime, I'm going to pull a Neil Gaiman and leave you with a list of links that I thought were interesting:
Here's yet another post on the Thriller wedding dance subject. After watching this video and cringing at the lack of synchronicity, I decided there's no way in hell I'm choreographing (or participating in someone else's choreography, a la Thriller) a dance for the wedding party. I would indeed turn into a bridezilla: "No, your arm's too high. You should kick higher right there and then spin. Remember, the zombie move is on the 7,8, and then head slides are on the 1." I would drive everyone crazy. I'm not sure what Mr. T and I are going to do for our first dance, since we never do partner dancing (just your average bootie shaking at the club, which I suspect neither of us wants to do for an audience of 100 of our family and friends). However, whatever we do, it won't be highly choreographed, or Mr. T would kill me. Really.
Planet Gordon was started by a groom-to-be. I've been slowly working my way through the archives from 2003, when he got engaged. He's a really funny writer and actually wrote a book called The Engaged Groom, which is reputed to be funny and accurate--weddings from the male perspective. I've been pondering getting it for Mr. T.
Zazzle does both custom wedding stamps and custom ties. Well, they do custom anything, but those two things caught my eye.
Carbon Footprint offers a wedding registry where guests can register to have trees planted in the UK or Kenya. Those country choices seem a bit random to me, but I like the eco-friendliness of the idea. They also have a carbon footprint calculator on their site, which I need to try out one of these days.
And finally, who doesn't love Peeps? Here are some in wedding garb. Enjoy.
In the meantime, I'm going to pull a Neil Gaiman and leave you with a list of links that I thought were interesting:
Here's yet another post on the Thriller wedding dance subject. After watching this video and cringing at the lack of synchronicity, I decided there's no way in hell I'm choreographing (or participating in someone else's choreography, a la Thriller) a dance for the wedding party. I would indeed turn into a bridezilla: "No, your arm's too high. You should kick higher right there and then spin. Remember, the zombie move is on the 7,8, and then head slides are on the 1." I would drive everyone crazy. I'm not sure what Mr. T and I are going to do for our first dance, since we never do partner dancing (just your average bootie shaking at the club, which I suspect neither of us wants to do for an audience of 100 of our family and friends). However, whatever we do, it won't be highly choreographed, or Mr. T would kill me. Really.
Planet Gordon was started by a groom-to-be. I've been slowly working my way through the archives from 2003, when he got engaged. He's a really funny writer and actually wrote a book called The Engaged Groom, which is reputed to be funny and accurate--weddings from the male perspective. I've been pondering getting it for Mr. T.
Zazzle does both custom wedding stamps and custom ties. Well, they do custom anything, but those two things caught my eye.
Carbon Footprint offers a wedding registry where guests can register to have trees planted in the UK or Kenya. Those country choices seem a bit random to me, but I like the eco-friendliness of the idea. They also have a carbon footprint calculator on their site, which I need to try out one of these days.
And finally, who doesn't love Peeps? Here are some in wedding garb. Enjoy.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Getting Back on the Horse: Looking for Venues
So I found a couple of potential venues and emailed them to Mr. T. He agreed that they might be possibilities...although of course both of us would rather have one of our first two venues, but we really need options.
One of the potential venues is a famous hotel, and we never thought we'd be able to afford it, but if Here Comes the Guide is accurate, it's actually the same price as the other venues we've been considering. Cake has to be included, but the place is high-profile enough that I imagine their chef is pretty good. So I think we'll go check it out!
Oh, and if anyone is wondering what I did with my "me" time, I did about an hour and a half of a belly dance DVD before I realized how much time had passed (I was only 2/3 of the way through!), then I made myself a salad and watched some dance shows.
I finished the last Harry Potter book (again) yesterday. Once again, I was so sad to read the last page and set it down--I never want to say goodbye to these characters! JK Rowling's writing and storytelling is so brilliant that I would be happy to read any number of follow-ups, like "Harry Potter and the Tax Audit," or "Harry Potter and the Job Interview," or "Harry Potter and the House Remodel," or "Harry Potter and the Bifocals."
Sadly, JK seems to be done with the series, so I'll have to scout out new favorites (and/or keep rereading the old favorites). For now, I'm returning to In the Company of the Courtesan, and I'm also finishing up our book club book.
One of the potential venues is a famous hotel, and we never thought we'd be able to afford it, but if Here Comes the Guide is accurate, it's actually the same price as the other venues we've been considering. Cake has to be included, but the place is high-profile enough that I imagine their chef is pretty good. So I think we'll go check it out!
Oh, and if anyone is wondering what I did with my "me" time, I did about an hour and a half of a belly dance DVD before I realized how much time had passed (I was only 2/3 of the way through!), then I made myself a salad and watched some dance shows.
I finished the last Harry Potter book (again) yesterday. Once again, I was so sad to read the last page and set it down--I never want to say goodbye to these characters! JK Rowling's writing and storytelling is so brilliant that I would be happy to read any number of follow-ups, like "Harry Potter and the Tax Audit," or "Harry Potter and the Job Interview," or "Harry Potter and the House Remodel," or "Harry Potter and the Bifocals."
Sadly, JK seems to be done with the series, so I'll have to scout out new favorites (and/or keep rereading the old favorites). For now, I'm returning to In the Company of the Courtesan, and I'm also finishing up our book club book.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Selfishness is the Key to a Happy Relationship
Now, I don't really mean that, of course.
What I mean is: everyone deserves some me time. I'm not talking about time running errands, or hanging out with friends without your S.O. I'm talking about time alone at home. Blissful, lazy, selfish, me time.
Mr. T gets a lot of time alone because I have a crazy schedule. He is marvelously tolerant about this and takes me when he can get me, and I try to be considerate about how long it's been since we've had a date that didn't include all of our friends, and somehow or other it all works out. Frankly, I'd go nuts with boredom if I weren't so busy, and Mr. T knows it. Because he was in a band and understands the passion behind it all, he never complains about time I spend rehearsing, or taking classes, or performing, or attending dance events, or any of the things that take up my time. Really, he's a paragon of patience with all of it, and I'm lucky to have him!
However, thanks to the aforementioned schedule, I don't often get me time. Tonight, however, Mr. T has what I refer to as a "play date" or just a "date" with a friend of ours (Mr. T is also thankfully marvelously tolerant of my sense of humor), so I get to go home after work and do whatever. I think I'll watch my stockpile of dance shows that don't really interest Mr. T but he'll watch with me because he's nice and he loves me, like So You Think You Can Dance, Step It Up and Dance (or whatever that one is called), or even the movie Honey, which I recorded knowing it would be awful but I wanted to see the dance scenes anyway. When we're together we try to watch stuff we're both interested in (I'm not so into the martial arts programs he records), which means I have some shows I haven't seen in weeks.
If I'm super ambitious I might put in a belly dance instructional DVD to do before I settle into the couch for the evening.
It's not that Mr. T or I stop each other from doing things...it's just that we each enjoy our own company too. I think that's healthy. I never wanted to be that girl who stopped speaking to her friends because she was dating someone, or who lost her identity as soon as she became part of a couple. I think we have a good balance. Like all things, it requires maintenance, but we're up for it.
What I mean is: everyone deserves some me time. I'm not talking about time running errands, or hanging out with friends without your S.O. I'm talking about time alone at home. Blissful, lazy, selfish, me time.
Mr. T gets a lot of time alone because I have a crazy schedule. He is marvelously tolerant about this and takes me when he can get me, and I try to be considerate about how long it's been since we've had a date that didn't include all of our friends, and somehow or other it all works out. Frankly, I'd go nuts with boredom if I weren't so busy, and Mr. T knows it. Because he was in a band and understands the passion behind it all, he never complains about time I spend rehearsing, or taking classes, or performing, or attending dance events, or any of the things that take up my time. Really, he's a paragon of patience with all of it, and I'm lucky to have him!
However, thanks to the aforementioned schedule, I don't often get me time. Tonight, however, Mr. T has what I refer to as a "play date" or just a "date" with a friend of ours (Mr. T is also thankfully marvelously tolerant of my sense of humor), so I get to go home after work and do whatever. I think I'll watch my stockpile of dance shows that don't really interest Mr. T but he'll watch with me because he's nice and he loves me, like So You Think You Can Dance, Step It Up and Dance (or whatever that one is called), or even the movie Honey, which I recorded knowing it would be awful but I wanted to see the dance scenes anyway. When we're together we try to watch stuff we're both interested in (I'm not so into the martial arts programs he records), which means I have some shows I haven't seen in weeks.
If I'm super ambitious I might put in a belly dance instructional DVD to do before I settle into the couch for the evening.
It's not that Mr. T or I stop each other from doing things...it's just that we each enjoy our own company too. I think that's healthy. I never wanted to be that girl who stopped speaking to her friends because she was dating someone, or who lost her identity as soon as she became part of a couple. I think we have a good balance. Like all things, it requires maintenance, but we're up for it.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Bucking Tradition
It will be no surprise to you that I'm not going to go for a lot of the wedding day traditions. As I've told Mr. T, this is our day, and it should be about us. He wasn't sure if he wanted a ring or not, but felt that he needed one for the "mandatory" ring exchange on the day. I told him, "If you don't want one, don't get one. This is your wedding." Ultimately he decided he'd get a ring, but an inexpensive one, and he'd only wear it sometimes. (I teased him, "You know, women look at men's hands..." He said dryly, "Believe me, they're not beating down my door now, and I don't have a ring." I told him I didn't believe it.)
Here are the things I'm pretty sure we aren't going to do on the day:
We haven't decided what we're going to do about other traditions, such as the first dance. I suggested to Mr. T that we learn the "Thriller" choreography and do that as our first dance. He laughed and started doing the infamous zombie dance part (you know the one), which made me laugh. See? He makes me laugh.
We will definitely have guest favors, but with our own spin on it.
I do like the "something old, new, borrowed, and blue" tradition, so I think I will keep that one. Apparently the original saying ended, "And a sixpence for your shoe" (for luck), but no way am I putting a coin in my shoe. I would like to incorporate a sixpence another way, if I think of a suitable idea.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't mind doing the "cake cutting" with our cupcakes. There will be NO smashing of cake into the face, however. (Mr. T, are you reading this?)
I like the idea of bride and groom gifts--stealing a sweet moment the day of or night before the ceremony to give each other a thoughtful gift. Speaking of that, some of the brides on the blogs have mentioned stealing a little time alone together directly after the ceremony (like 10 minutes or so) to let the impact of being married sink in, and have some alone time, before joining folks at the reception. I like that too.
I'm excited to create something that reflects us! I hope our guests will enjoy it too.
Here are the things I'm pretty sure we aren't going to do on the day:
- No white dress for me.
- Probably no veil for me (unless I find a fabulous red lace mantilla veil that I must have).
- No diamond ring for me.
- No tux for Mr. T.
- No flowers in the reception hall (I'll post about decor later). I will carry a bouquet though, which brings me to...
- No bouquet toss. It's my bouquet, I want it! Also, why humiliate the women at the reception with this horrible game? "Okay, all the losers...I mean single women...come up here and scrabble desperately...I mean try to catch the bouquet." No thanks. My single ladies are gorgeous and fabulous and I love them. I was thinking of having my bouquet made into a painting, actually. I like the idea of keeping it in our household, but in a nontraditional way.
- No garter toss. I actually found a few cute Halloween garters (below), but again, I think it's really in poor taste to have your groom all up in your business while your friends and family watch. WTF?
- Not getting married in a church. We're happy heathens.
- Non-traditional officiant. We don't know who will be our officiant, but they will likely be ordained by the Universal Life Church.
- Photos taken before the ceremony. Actually, we haven't officially decided this yet, but I think it's hard on the guests to be left cooling their heels while you're doing a photo shoot. So I'm going to push for a pre-ceremony shoot. My brother and sister-in-law did this and I thought it was brilliant.
We haven't decided what we're going to do about other traditions, such as the first dance. I suggested to Mr. T that we learn the "Thriller" choreography and do that as our first dance. He laughed and started doing the infamous zombie dance part (you know the one), which made me laugh. See? He makes me laugh.
We will definitely have guest favors, but with our own spin on it.
I do like the "something old, new, borrowed, and blue" tradition, so I think I will keep that one. Apparently the original saying ended, "And a sixpence for your shoe" (for luck), but no way am I putting a coin in my shoe. I would like to incorporate a sixpence another way, if I think of a suitable idea.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't mind doing the "cake cutting" with our cupcakes. There will be NO smashing of cake into the face, however. (Mr. T, are you reading this?)
I like the idea of bride and groom gifts--stealing a sweet moment the day of or night before the ceremony to give each other a thoughtful gift. Speaking of that, some of the brides on the blogs have mentioned stealing a little time alone together directly after the ceremony (like 10 minutes or so) to let the impact of being married sink in, and have some alone time, before joining folks at the reception. I like that too.
I'm excited to create something that reflects us! I hope our guests will enjoy it too.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
If You Want to Be a Dancer
Almost forgot, here's a passage I really liked from Signed, Mata Hari:
"If you want to be a dancer, practice for hours holding your arms up high, your hands above your head. Walk that way down the street, sleep that way at night, ride your horse that way, read the paper that way, the paper, of course, spread out on a table. Shake your head at the terrible news printed that day: 144,000 French killed to date. When the zeppelin ships sail overhead and drop their bombs, maintain your pose. You are a dancer. Simply shake your hands of the dust and plaster chips that have fallen down from the cracks newly made in the ceiling. Try not to miss opportunities. Think about incorporating this hand shaking movement into one of your dances."
It's true about keeping the arms up, by the way. Elbows up, ladies!
"If you want to be a dancer, practice for hours holding your arms up high, your hands above your head. Walk that way down the street, sleep that way at night, ride your horse that way, read the paper that way, the paper, of course, spread out on a table. Shake your head at the terrible news printed that day: 144,000 French killed to date. When the zeppelin ships sail overhead and drop their bombs, maintain your pose. You are a dancer. Simply shake your hands of the dust and plaster chips that have fallen down from the cracks newly made in the ceiling. Try not to miss opportunities. Think about incorporating this hand shaking movement into one of your dances."
It's true about keeping the arms up, by the way. Elbows up, ladies!
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