Booze: Check!

If anyone's wondering what $1300 worth of alcohol looks like...




There you go! Our original budget for alcohol was $1500, so we came in $200 under budget AND we also bought 8 bottles of wine for the rehearsal dinner, which was not in our initial alcohol budget at all.

We will probably end up returning some, but we just didn't know what folks would want to drink. Beer? Wine? If wine, red or white? If red, pinot or cabernet? If none of the above, vodka or tequila? And so on...so, we probably overbought, but I really, really don't want to do a beer run in the middle of our wedding. We also bought toasting champagne (excuse me, sparkling wine!). We'll have 3-4 bottles of champagne for guests to drink before the toasts if they prefer to drink champagne...those are Moet, left over from Mr. T's cousin's wedding. The toasting ahem, sparkling wine is Gloria Ferrer, which was a recommendation from my codancer who loves champagne, so we totally took her advice with no hesitation. We are also serving the same chardonnay (Benziger) and pinot (Castle Rock) that she served at her own wedding, so thanks, Rachel!

For the cabernet we went with Smoking Loon, which Mr. T likes, and for beer we went for two more of his faves (and also locally brewed!) Anchor Steam and Trumer Pilsner. He also picked the vodka, of course, which is Ketel One, and I obviously picked the tequila, which is Corralejo (Herradura is my fave but was a tad expensive, unfortunately).

Buying the alcohol took all day. First I placed an online order at BevMo. I saved 5% because it was my first online order (Score!). We also got our chardonnay for essentially half off because of BevMo's five-cent wine sale (buy one bottle, get the next bottle of the same wine for five cents, on selected wines! Double score!). After we placed that order, we had to wait an hour for them to get everything together so we could come pick it up. So we went to Safeway, because they had an amazing deal on wines. A discount for 6 or more bottles of the same wine, PLUS an additional 10% off for 6 bottles of any wine, period. We saved $110 on 24 bottles of wine. Excuse me while I pat myself on the back for suggesting going there as our first stop! Triple Score!

Our next stop was Trader Joe's. Unfortunately they were sold out of the margarita mix, but we did buy the rest of the wine for the rehearsal dinner there, plus the remaining bottles of pinot (Safeway didn't have enough in stock).

After Trader Joe's we swung by BevMo to look at beer and pick up our order. We bought two cases of Anchor Steam there, and at this point my credit card was declined. "Oops," I thought, "I should've called them." I bet hundreds of dollars of alcohol purchases in an hour raises some red flags. So I put the purchase on another card, and we picked up the online order. The woman who helped us out to the car complimented us on our wine and tequila selections (patting myself on the back again...and Rach, you should too, since you picked the chardonnay). "It's for our wedding," I confessed with a smile, and she congratulated us. All day I told people about the wedding, whether they wanted to hear about it or not, since we were getting a lot of attention around our massive alcohol purchases.

We dropped off all the booze thus far at home and I called my card and reassured them that yes, it was me, buying crap for my wedding, nothing to worry about. The operator congratulated me and restored my card to good standing and we were off again! [Lest anyone worry about my credit card spending...no worries, it's just on the card until I can transfer money from our savings account, which takes a couple of days. We're a no-debt wedding! As a matter of fact, we have extra in our wedding savings. Hooray!]

Next we took a break from alcohol and went to Target. We bought CANDY for the candy buffet. $100 worth of candy is a lot of candy, but unfortunately I didn't get a pic of that one to show you. We also bought coloring books for the niece/nephew. I had a crisis in the middle of the lane at Target. I literally could not pick up the coloring books with the Disney princesses on them. "There must be something else," I kept muttering. I had no idea I felt so strongly about this issue until I was confronted with corrupting my niece with them. Finally Mr. T suggested Dora the Explorer and I grudgingly went along with it. He of course had it easy and picked out a superhero coloring book for his nephew. Anyway, we also picked up frames for the parent gifts (we're going to give them wedding photos, so they'll get the frames with "picture coming soon" signs in them), plus tooth whitening kits (yes, we're vain), and I got some cute Halloween tees for myself for $6 each, which I thought was a score. As we checked out the checker (who reminded me of Kristin Wiig's character on SNL) asked if the candy was for trick-or-treaters or if it WAS ALL FOR US. And then she said people sometimes told her they were going to keep the candy for themselves. We're talking about 20+ bags of candy, here. That's frightening!

Our next stop was another Trader Joe's. They did have the maggie mix, and by making nice with one of the employees, we got it in an unopened box. Hooray! After that we went to another BevMo, and since we were under budget, Mr. T approved the purchase of the Crystal Head vodka that I'd been dreaming about. It's going to look so awesome on the bar!



Plus if we run out of vodka we can crack it open.

After BevMo #2, we proceeded to Michael's, where we bought flower petals for our flower girl, spray paint for some of the used frames we bought for venue signage, more glitter for pumpkins, two types of glue, and other random stuff.

We were also supposed to make a stop at Pet Club for the littles but it was closed at this point. It was probably for the best, since we were soooo tired by then.

And finally, we stopped at Andronico's for two things:

1. Individually wrapped candy corn packets--we love candy corn and had to have it at the buffet, but we don't want any open candy, just wrapped. Andronico's was the only store we found the packets in!
2. The Trumer Pilsner beer, which was on sale, and because of the sale, they had cases in stock, which they normally don't. Quadruple score!

And then we went home and collapsed.

To-do list for this week/weekend

1. Meet with officiant re: vows again.
2. Finalize seating chart.
3. Work on signage for bar, cupcake table, buffet table, candy buffet, gift table.
4. Work on escort cards and room map.
5. Buy alcohol.
6. Decide where we're buying pumpkins.
7. Buy parent gifts.
8. Buy candy for candy buffet.
9. Practice corset lacing with MOH.
10. Send out rehearsal dinner invitations.
11. Decorate cupcake tree (this might have to wait until next weekend!).
12. Wash and decorate candy jars.

I'm sure there are about 80 other things I'm forgetting at the moment. Here we go!!

Weekend Wedding Warriors

This weekend Mr. T, his mom (Future Mother-in-law T), and I hammered out our plan for the wedding table centerpieces, which she's helping us assemble.

First, we ruled out dry ice as a potential part of the centerpieces. There's actually an Albertson's near Mr. T's mom's house that sells dry ice, so we bought a pound and tested it out. FMIL T thought we could put a dish under the centerpiece pumpkin, with something in that dish to elevate the pumpkin itself, and have dry ice in the dish, waiting to be activated with water at the start of the cocktail hour. Here's what we found:

• Dry ice melts pretty fast. Timing its placement in the centerpieces would be tricky (AKA, a pain).
• Unless you have a lot of ice, and a lot of warm water, the effect isn't as grand as one would hope. When we had everything in place, you could barely notice the steam snaking out of the centerpieces. And for that much trouble, I want a lot more wow factor!

So, we decided to do dry ice in big cauldrons at the bar and the escort card table. Someone will still need to get the dry ice, not too far in advance of the ceremony, and then we'll have to make sure the staff knows not to activate it until cocktail hour, but apparently 5 pounds of ice and a good amount of hot water is supposed to give you enough steam to last an hour, which is perfect.

So now our centerpieces will consist of:

• Pumpkins, which we'll need to buy beforehand and carve a few days before the wedding. We've decided instead of table numbers, we'll carve "icons" into the pumpkins, like a bat, ghost, cat, raven, etc. Then folks will be assigned to the raven table, or the cat table, etc.
• Flowers that will go in the pumpkins. Even the "cheap" websites like fiftyflowers.com are pretty expensive, so we're going to hit the SF FlowerMart and Trader Joe's between Wednesday and Friday before the wedding. This stresses me out a little, as I feel like we have a lot to do at the last minute, but I think it's better than overspending on something I didn't even want to have in the first place! And flowers die so fast--no need to spend top dollar. Unless they're Black Baccara roses. Mmmmmmm. Anyway, filling out the flower arrangements are an assortment of feather and other picks that FMIL T and I have gathered over the last few months. This weekend we also cut branches off her curly willow and spray painted them black, applying orange glitter as they dried. That was Mr. T's job this weekend! So we'll have creepy glittery sticks in the centerpieces too.
• Fake tea lights that will sit in the pumpkins (under the flowers, which are not going to extend all the way down) and hopefully illuminate our icons so they are more visible and just plain look cool.
• Wreaths. The pumpkins will sit in the center of these. We bought some plain twiggy wreaths at Michaels this weekend and my task was to spray them with clear enamel and apply copious amounts of orange glitter to them. FMIL T is keeping them at her house to apply other fun things to them with hot glue.
• Votives, which we already bought.
  
• Possibly scattered (fake) Fall leaves. FMIL T had bought some of these.

Hopefully it will all come together! My concern is that folks aren't going to be able to see around the centerpieces, so we've committed to buying shorter, fatter pumpkins.

We were also on the hunt for cheap frames that could hold the various signs we'll need to post, like our menu for the bar, the menu of cupcake flavors, etc. We didn't find a ton, but the ones we found were only 99 cents, so I'm not complaining.

We pretty much traipsed all over town in hunt of frames, spray paint, containers to hold all our crap, wreaths, glitter, fake tea lights, and other fun decor elements. At the end of the weekend, I was exhausted! So much for a long holiday weekend. We packed most of it up and brought it to our house, where it's all cluttering up our front entryway. And the wedding mess begins! The cats were very puzzled about all the new stuff.

And of course, I didn't take any photos because I'm a bad bridal blogger. You'll just have to see it all later, I guess!

Quiet Weekend

Mr. T and I are enjoying the calm before the storm. It's amazing how many items on our to-do list need to be done the month before the wedding, if not the week before.

This weekend I addressed about half our envelopes in my own dubious handwriting, although Mr. T was very complimentary about how they looked. I told him he was biased, but it was still nice to have a cheerleader there.

Mr. T worked on some of our other paper products: icons for the escort cards, and the drink menu for the bar. Those are looking very stylish, and without the pressure of the invitations hanging over our heads, they seemed to flow very quickly!

We should get our invites back from the printer soon, if they really are working as quickly as they thought they would. I haven't heard anything yet, and today's the exact 2-week mark.

I also created a more detailed alcohol budget. We had a general budget, but after we went to BevMo this weekend and priced what the bottles of vodka and tequila are likely to cost, we had a guideline for how much we have left to spend on the wine. That was very helpful, actually. It's unlikely we'll have enough in the budget for Tru Blood soda or Crystal Head vodka, sadly. I'm still holding onto the idea of one bottle of the vodka for display at the bar. A girl can dream, right?





We also went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and picked out flatware. Of course the style we liked has no corresponding hostess set. I put a hostess set by the same manufacturer on the registry for now, but I'm not entirely satisfied with that decision. We might have to revisit our choice.

Booze

Mr. T and I have decided we're serving two signature cocktails, wine and beer, and champagne for toasts. The venue is letting us bring our own alcohol, so we're hoping to take advantage of some cash savings in this area.

The problem is, I have no idea of what quantity to buy. Most wedding articles are either for wine/beer/champagne only or for a full open bar. What about for signature drinks? It's mind-boggling to try to do the math.

I was looking up costs for 1.75 L bottles of vodka and tequila, and they're much cheaper, but Mr. T thinks they're too hard to work with behind the bar. I kinda don't care if the bartenders have a hard time with our bottles. Is that terrible of me? I mean, it's a significant savings between two 750 mL bottles and one 1.75 L bottle.

Luckily (although, we're still paying for it, but I suppose we're lucky in that it's just taken care of and I don't have to add all this into my calculations), the hotel provides bartenders, non-alcoholic drinks, glasses, napkins, etc. So we're just looking at booze, really. Oh, and margarita mix, because I refuse to use the high-fructose corn syrup kind.

Mr. T is going to ask his brother (the chef) for help figuring this all out. His bro caters weddings frequently, so he might know or at least help us estimate.

Wedding Recap

So, as you all know, I went to my friend and codancer's wedding this Sunday, and I've finally downloaded the few photos I took from my camera, so I'm ready to blog about it!

Mr. T and I were lucky enough to score street parking half a block away, so we didn't need to pay for a parking garage. Hooray! Chalk one up for Sunday weddings. Apparently Sundays are a traditional day for Jewish weddings, which I didn't know. As Mr. T and I battled the light rain on our short walk to the venue, we noticed other folks in red and black--the invites called for "fashionable red and black attire." It was easy to spot other wedding attendees! And once inside, everyone looked so fabulous--it was fun to see everyone's take on the red and black ensemble.

The wedding was held at a gorgeous historic San Francisco building. The ballroom had dark wood paneling, red carpet, and beautiful light fixtures. It was hard to take photos due to the dim lights, but here are a couple of crappy ones that I got:




After we arrived we checked our coats at the "self-serve coat check" (so smart!) and waited for the other guests to arrive and the action to begin. While we were waiting I occupied myself with taking photos of the lovely floral arch over the doorway in the cocktail area:





There were also rose petals scattered on some of the tables and all of the windowsills. After mingling for a little while, we all gathered in the ballroom where the rabbi--who was hilarious, and could have had his own stand-up act--gave us a little explanation on what goes on at Jewish weddings. This wasn't an orthodox situation, since the groom isn't Jewish, but they found a progressive (and funny) rabbi who would perform the ceremony for them. He taught us a little wordless melody to sing as the bride and groom entered, one at a time. If you look closely, you can see the bride entering on the arm of her parents in this picture:


Shortly after we'd entered the room, Mr. T murmured to me, "Oh, they have the good chairs. What are those called again?" I said, "Chiavari. And they're $10 per chair at our venue, so don't get too attached!" But I thought it was hilarious and a little sweet that he's taking notice of little details like the types of chairs.

Unlike your usual ceremony, where the parties head straight up to the altar (or in this case, the chuppah), instead the bride and groom sat down at a table in the back of the room, while we all stood around them in a large circle. They each read very sweet letters to each other (they did it without crying, which I'm not sure I could've managed), and then they and their witnesses signed the ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract. After that we all took our seats and the groom proceeded up the aisle to the chuppah (their wedding attendants were already holding the four poles holding the chuppah up).

The bride came up the aisle next, again accompanied by both of her parents. I really liked this and I wonder if I could talk my parents into it. Hm. I could see my mom feeling shy about doing it and my dad feeling a little hurt that I didn't want to have just him escorting me. They stopped halfway, hugged, and then the bride's parents walked up the rest of the aisle on their own, leaving the bride there. They walked up the chuppah, hugged the groom, and then took their seats. The groom then walked to meet the bride in the middle of the aisle and they did something that I've never heard about before: The bride circled the groom three times, and then he circled her three times. It was pretty sweet and also funny--both of them were grinning and giggling the whole time, and so were all of us. Then they walked up to the chuppah together, which I also liked.

The ceremony was nice--not too long, and involving audience participation--we had to say "Amen" frequently, and of course "Mazel tov" at the end, but I'll get to that. What struck me most was the bride's face--she was beaming the entire time. I couldn't see the groom's face, but I imagine he was the same way. I wonder if I'll be beaming or crying? Hopefully beaming. It's easier on the makeup. The rabbi included some personal details in his ceremony about the couple, which made it that much more special (and funny--the groom himself is hysterical, and one of the details the rabbi mentioned about the groom had us cracking up for a couple of minutes straight).

At the end the groom stomped on the glass and we screamed mazel tov at them, and they were married! They left the room to be alone together for a little while, which I totally plan on having us doing. It seems like a nice moment to celebrate what you've just done, without friends and family pulling on you for your attention.

They'd hired a great band to play immediately following the ceremony (a Balkan brass band), and once the happy couple was back, we all danced! We did some quasi-traditional Jewish line dancing (the horah), although most of us didn't really know the steps (that's what made it "quasi"), and after that came the part where the bride and groom were lifted up in chairs. I just kept thinking of that Sex and the City episode where Anthony tells Charlotte to keep her legs together while she's in the chair, "because no one wants to see the bride's beaver." Crassness aside, the bride later told me that the chair dance was "terrifying"--I guess it feels pretty unsteady, although neither of them were dropped, so it was a success (and no one saw anything, either, in case you were wondering). After that they lifted the two sets of parents in the chairs.

After the chair part was a really fun part where the bride and grooom sat in those chairs on the dance floor and we had to do crazy stuff try to make them laugh. Of course the belly dance ladies did a little piece (comprised of all of the dumb stuff we do in our rehearsals to make ourselves laugh), and their other friends and family stepped up too. I loved it! This devolved into just a general dance party with everyone on the floor. And this was all before dinner!

After all that craziness was cocktail hour. The food was delicious and plentiful, which was good since we were all hungry after all that dancing. It was an open bar, so we were all able to order our favorite cocktails, and I took advantage of the time to take photos of the escort card table and the bride's bouquet.

All of the escort cards had little icons on them corresponding to the table decor, and in addition there were maps of the ballroom indicating the placement of each table. I thought that was very cleverly done.



Because I'm a bad blogger I didn't go around and take photos of all the centerpieces. I actually didn't even take a photo of the centerpiece at our table. Ah, well. We were at the "lamp" table, which had a centerpiece comprised of three sweet little candle lamps and lovely red fabric. I liked the non-floral centerpiece idea (although of course now we are doing flowers for ours...but I still like the idea).

Speaking of flowers, her bouquet was gorgeous and covet-worthy:



Love, love, love, the black magic roses, the little curly things, and the hanging things. You can see how much I know about flowers through my use of the technical terms for them.

After the cocktail hour we were ushered in for dinner, which was delicious. The tables were taking turns making noise and being rowdy, which was funny. I can only hope our wedding is as uproarious. After we were done eating various family members and attendants made speeches, all of which were short and heartfelt. Then the bride got up and thanked everyone, explaining that as this was not a traditional wedding the first dance was also going to be untraditional. Then she introduced our bhangra teacher and her dance partner, who did a lively and fun performance. During their song we all got up on the dance floor and danced along--again, this crowd was ready and willing to dance! I loved it. After that the DJ went into some 80s tunes and we danced our hearts out, at least until the cake was ready to be cut:



Look at that crazy topsy-turvy cake! I watched as they wheeled it in, and every bump they hit set the top tiers jiggling like crazy. I have no idea how they cut it all up for us. In the bottom photo you can see part of the bride's gorgeous dress (her second dress, actually--she had major drama with her first dress maker and ended up paying for a dress that didn't fit her at all). You can also see the groom becoming sick of having his photo taken...I think men are just not used to being photographed. That's my theory on why Mr. T didn't like the engagement pix.

Anyway, to wrap up a long post, yummy cake was served (my piece was red velvet with strawberries, yum...I understand there was a chocolate tier in there too), more dancing and drinks were had, and then we went home and were very tired the next morning for work.

The happy couple left for their honeymoon in Vail and is, as I type, sipping hot chocolate and/or hitting the slopes. Mazel tov!

Resolution Clarification

I'd like to point out that I will not be doing ALL of my bright fitness ideas at once. That seems like a recipe for failure! Instead, I'll try one idea, see if I like it, and then if I make it stick, try to incorporate something else.

After much thought I decided to try getting up early and going to the gym before work to see if I can do it. Mr. T says he'll get up with me and work out at home while I go to the gym, and I think if both of us are getting up (not me having to get up while Mr. T blissfully slumbers in the warm bed), it could work! I'll start with a couple days a week, and then increase it if it's working out. The irony is that when we're going to bed Mr. T and I have a running joke about, "Did you set the alarm for 6, so we can go jogging in the morning?" Now that seems almost prophetic! (Although, still no jogging for me! Bleach. My knees would rebel.)

After that I probably would move on to the 100 push-up challenge. That seems like it would be easy to incorporate, it would be affordable, and it might actually obtain results!

I decided to postpone the cleanse for awhile. As attractive as it is to think about starting off the New Year with a clean slate (so to speak), my friends reminded me that we have some events coming up where I will be really bummed not to be drinking or eating a restricted diet...like my troupemate's bachelorette party in Vegas! So I'll wait on that one.

My boss's boss just lost 20 pounds on Weight Watchers. She doesn't go to any meetings, she just uses the online tools. She says it helps her think about what she's eating and how big her portions are. I'm not sure how much WW costs, but it's one to think about...the MOH has used it and liked it as well. Hm.

Happy New Year! I'm curious to hear any resolutions folks are making, whether fitness-related or not.

Invite Ideas and Inspiration Boards

I'm tidying up my saved jpegs, so that means they have to get posted before I forget about them!
First up, some invitation ideas. Lately Mr. T has said he wants to do a more typographic design, so I'm not sure we'll end up with anything resembling the following, but I like it all.

First up, a "woodcut" made out of construction paper. Although we certainly have plenty of time to make these, I think it would drive us crazy. Still, amazing, no? So skilled.



Next, an adorable pumpkin bag that holds the invite. A bitch to ship, but cute.



I love the silver ink on the black paper. I wonder how that's done.


Some more "traditional" invites. You can actually buy these blank and print them yourself at home. If we're cutting some more corners, this might be a way to go:




And finally, some inspiration boards about Halloween weddings, exciting! I love the one of the drinks; that's black vodka in some of them! Who knew that existed?








Oh, and one Day of the Dead board. Love the black glitter pumpkin! Hmmmmm....

Engagement Party Afterglow

So Saturday was our engagement party, hosted by the MOH, BM, and another dear friend of ours (and her husband, who did a lot of the manual labor!). I wore a tea-length red dress that I bought for a friend's wedding, with my leopard-print stiletto heels (which surprisingly were fine to wear all night; I expected them to be less comfy) and Mr. T wore a dark blue button-down shirt, jeans, and his birthday Adidas. It was a little foreshadowing of our wedding outfits, since I'll be wearing a red dress and he'll have a dark blue suit on.

We didn't have to lift a finger other than bringing an iPod loaded with music and my old Polaroid camera (which I discovered doesn't work, but I'll get to that in a second). Mr. T was a little uncomfortable with having folks do everything for us, but I felt strangely liberated (and I am usually the control freak!). I knew my girls would take care of everything, though. The MOH also asked us to bring some framed pictures of us as decor for the food tables and I realized that I haven't printed a single photo out since we got a digital camera, so that's on my list of things to do before the wedding! All the photos I found of us were from years ago and we both look baby-faced...and thinner. I did find a couple of hilarious Halloween images: one of us as geishas, and one of us as Mulder and Scully. We went to Target that afternoon to get some frames for the photos and scored some for $2 each! We'll have to pick up more before the wedding, since I'd like to display a bunch of photos there as well.

We hit horrible traffic on the way over to the MOH's apartment and ended up being 40 minutes late to our own party. Mr. T called it being "fashionably late" and tried to keep me from getting too cranky about it. Once we got there, I was amazed at what a great job the ladies had done. The MOH was calling the theme "Halloween lite", so there was a skull on the door and a sign that had our names, hyphenated, followed by "Engagement Party;" the sign was in the shape of a spooky old castle.

Once we got inside we were greeted by the hilarious site of white and orange streamers in the hall, and a white tissue paper wedding bell with bats hanging from it. I laughed and laughed. Once we had drinks in hand (there were two signature drinks, named after us, and an elaborate and crazy bar set-up), I relaxed and got to chatting with folks. The Halloween and wedding decor was great, and there was a huge spread of food, although I realized I was so excited to talk to folks that I barely ate anything...no wonder you hear about all the couples who don't eat anything on their wedding day! The E-party team had everything running like a well-oiled machine, and we felt so taken care of and loved.

They had set up a guest book area with Polaroids; luckily my bridesmaid had brought her own Polaroid camera because mine just wouldn't do anything. I have no idea how to fix it; it's been at least 10 years since I last looked at it. I'd wager the battery's dead, but how to replace it? We couldn't figure it out. Anyway, although Polaroid is no longer making new film, they'd managed to find some, although it expired in 2004. It gave all the photos a sepia tone that was kind of neat. Still, I think my vague idea of having a Polaroid guest book at the wedding will have to remain unfulfilled, since the film situation will only get worse from here out. Don't worry, though, I have other ideas!

Anyway, folks got their picture taken and then signed next to their photo. It is a really fun memento from the evening! Mr. T's dad was there, although I think he felt a bit out of place since none of the other parents/older relatives came, which was unfortunate. My friend from high school came, and Mr. T's cousins, and the belly dance crew, and Mr. T's office, and my book club (the bookbabes). I showed off my ring; Mr. T and I had been joking that we needed to have a fancy jeweler's lamp set up so that I could do showings every 15 minutes. Folks seemed to like it, or at least they said they did! ;-)

One of my belly dance troupemates picked up vegan cakes from Millennium; since I'm a lactard she wanted us to have cake I could eat. There was a lemon one with white chocolate frosting and a chocolate one with yummy raspberry filling and chocolate frosting. Apparently she asked the baker to decorate them for Halloween, which first surprised the baker (um, mid-August!), and then amused her. She had to bring some ghost-shaped sprinkles from home and asked my troupemate not to tell anyone she did that, since Millennium doesn't use any artificial ingredients in their food! Mr. T and I did a ceremonial cake-cutting pose, which will probably be the first and last time for that, since we're doing cupcakes for our wedding.

A couple of folks disobeyed our "no gifts" request (defiantly!) and we got a great bottle of champagne, which we'll probably pop open on our 11th anniversary this year, and we also got a nice bottle of tequila and a box of candy. Ah...booze and sugar, the way to my heart.

The MOH sent us home with tons of yummy middle eastern food, the leftover cake, and these hilarious bride and groom rubber duckies that now reside in our bathroom.

The next day we hung out with Mr. T's dad, watched the Olympics, and got some dinner. It was a fantastic weekend, but I'm exhausted today. It felt like a test run for the wedding, only on a smaller scale...very educational! My one regret is that Mr. T and I didn't spend more time together at the party...we have sort of an unofficial "divide and conquer" strategy at parties to get to talk to more people. At our wedding, though, I told him I want to hang out with my husband, and he agreed.

Seeing how smoothly everything went made me reconsider hiring a day-of coordinator (DOC). I have a little idea about that...gotta clear it with Mr. T and we'll see what happens...

Research

Mr. T and I attended his business partner's wedding this Saturday. Not only was it fun, but we got to make mental notes for our own wedding! They got married in lovely Half Moon Bay, which is about 45 minutes away (more with traffic, as we discovered on Saturday), a lovely coastal town. Many of the guests spent the night in the B&B where the wedding was held, but because we are frugal and also procrastinators, we opted to drive down and back both nights.

Friday night the couple had a meet and greet in a pub. I liked the casual atmosphere. We are planning on doing something similarly relaxed for our "rehearsal dinner"--probably a pizza party with pumpkin carving. I liked the idea of opening up the rehearsal dinner to more of the wedding guests. Depending on the venue, we may think about doing that...plus, it means fewer pumpkins that I have to carve myself! ;-)

Saturday we drove down in the afternoon. I was late getting ready, as usual, and Mr. T was going to get dressed at the B&B after we got there, so I'm afraid I stressed him out. I have to remember to leave myself extra time on our wedding day. Mr. T got dressed in one of his coworker's rooms and we got ourselves out to the B&B garden and found seats in time for the ceremony. It was a little chilly outside, but not too bad, and the garden was beautiful. The bride and groom walked in together to Iron & Wine. I like the idea of walking together, but I think my dad probably wants to "give me away". It's something to think about, though.

I was pretty restrained and didn't cry too much, but as usual, I did have a coughing fit in the middle of the ceremony. I always pack cough drops for this reason. I have a contrary throat. I liked that the bride and groom wrote a poem for their friends and family. I don't know if Mr. T and I are up to poetry. Perhaps he can do some drumming and I'll do an interpretive dance to tell folks how happy we are that they're at the wedding. On second thought...no.

One thing I noticed was that although I could hear their officiant fine (he had a mic), I couldn't hear any of the bride or groom's vows, because the mic was not handed over to them. That was a bummer. Note to self: Need mic for all speakers at the ceremony.

After the ceremony we mingled and had appetizers and drinks. They weren't serving hard alcohol, but luckily the B&B had a bar, so I went and bought myself a drink...or rather, one of Mr. T's business partners bought me a drink! I would really like to make sure there's hard alcohol at our wedding, if for me alone. Some folks just don't like beer or wine. So, even if we have to go cash bar for the liquor, we've gotta do it.

The mingling was fun but perhaps a touch too long. I was pretty hungry by the time dinner came (most of the appetizers had dairy in them, so being a lactard, I didn't eat much). Note to self: provide some nondairy appetizers. Not that I expected that at someone else's wedding, but at mine, I'm gonna eat something! ;-) The other thing that happened during this time is that folks started claiming tables (there was no seating chart). I didn't notice until almost too late; luckily, we were able to score a table together with Mr. T's work crew. Dennise, you told me that a seating chart was the way to go, but I didn't quite believe you. Now, I think you may have been right all along!

The bride designed, wrote, and illustrated a cookbook for the wedding favors. I forget where she got them printed, but it was relatively inexpensive. The groom wrote an album for the bride, so that CD was the other half of the wedding favor. I really loved the favors. The cookbook in particular is so handy! And it's funny and contains blurbs about what and how they cook together. Very fun idea.

Dinner was buffet style, which is what we're planning on doing. The line did get long for a minute, but it wasn't too bad. The food was great and had different options for meats, but only one vegetarian option, and no vegan options. At our wedding, even though I don't think any of our guests will be vegan, I'm definitely going vegan for one dish. We do know more than one lactard, so I think it's important for us.

During dinner there were a couple of toasts (avec champagne), which we couldn't really hear. I think that was because we were outside...the sound just floated away. We won't have that particular issue. The same for the music after dinner--it never really got loud enough for dancing. I don't think that was their focus, though. Before the wedding I had asked the bride if there would be dancing, and she shrugged and said "Maybe!"

The bride and groom did do their own sweet first dance, and even though we couldn't hear what they were dancing to, we all cheered.

After dinner it started to get really chilly, so we were happy to go inside for cake--carrot cake! It's funny, Mr. T and I were just discussing carrot cake, b/c he loves it, but didn't think it would be a popular enough flavor, so we opted not to serve it at the engagement party. Based on how quickly that thing disappeared, I don't think he needed to worry! I think we'll probably over-order on the cupcakes to make sure everyone gets one or two...dessert is really the best part, after all.

The bride and groom were happy and also very dazed. Now that all the planning was over, they didn't know what to do with themselves. The groom told me, "I feel like there's something I should be doing, but I guess I'm done!" I thought that was interesting and that probably happens all the time at weddings. I hope that we are able to enjoy the moment without worrying about what's left to do, or what didn't go right. I in particular am a worrier. I hope I can be in the moment!

The merriment went pretty late--the ceremony started at 2 and there were still folks there at 10, when we left--but I think that was in part because folks were staying at the Bed and Breakfast. It was nice, though; folks changed into comfy clothes and settled into the bar. I hope we have a good crew who stays with us till the end! Who am I kidding, I know we will!

All in all, a very satisfying kickoff to the wedding season.

I'll try not to drink too much at our reception

Although, even hammered, I don't think I'd end up like this.

At the second venue we toured, we loved the wedding coordinator, who told us three or four horror stories about drunken fights and screaming brides. They were hilarious to hear, although I'm sure they weren't so fun to have to deal with.

Crazy Bride Spreadsheet

I found a budget spreadsheet through Indiebride that makes me look like a poseur. It has a tracking sheet for how much you need to save, accounting for how much you started with and how many months you have left to save, with formulas calculating the total with each deposit or payment entry. That's just the first tab.

The second tab has the wedding budget, with every line item accounted for (I had forgotten all about postage!). There's an "estimated" column and and "actual" column and a "money spent to date" column and all sorts of other columns.

The next tab is for misc. ideas, as far as I can tell.

Then there's the tab to keep track of vendor contact info.

After that are the guest list tabs, the seating chart tab, the floorplan tab (yes, she really created a floorplan using Excel, here's a screen capture below), the to-do list tab, the legal changes tab, the flowers tab, and the gift tracker tab.



Why do all that work to come up with some lame-ass spreadsheet when some detail-oriented bride has already done the work for me? I showed it to Mr. T last night and said, "you thought I was crazy..."

Last night I was reworking our budget in the beautiful new spreadsheet and reluctantly came to the conclusion that we need to increase it, at least until we book a venue and get more accurate costs for things. For example, I have no idea what to budget for alcohol. We were thinking of serving just beer, wine, and champagne, but Mr. T's coworker suggested having a cash bar for other types of alcohol. Has anyone been to a wedding with a cash bar? Did you think it was tacky? This way I could have them make a signature drink for the evening, like a pumpkin martini. Otherwise there's no way we can pony up for hard alcohol--we know how you all like to drink! ;-)

I did a funny thing with the postage, where I was calculating it without putting in the decimal point, so I ended up with like $3600 for postage. I was having a mini heart attack until Mr. T figured out my mistake. I know it's hard to believe, but I took (and passed) college-level Calculus! Well, it's been awhile since then, apparently!